Oh come on..

Ivanka Trump — who’s supposed to be running her dad’s “blind trust” — wants to move to Washington D.C.

 

What's Liz looking at?

Looks to me like she's getting ready to steal something from President Xi's plate.

Hello. Do I know you?

I had cataract surgery on Monday--successful, easy, painless. But here's the thing no one tells you about cataract surgery. If, like me, you wait until the cataract is huge and dense you come away from the surgery with a brand-new view of the world -- which everyone said was going to be so great. But things that were fuzzy and rosy-looking before (my face, for example) are now alarmingly unfuzzy when I look in the mirror. Now I see someone with many wrinkles, hairs in places they shouldn't be, huge pores, and a lot of gray in her hair. I've apparently been walking around on this planet thinking I looked one way only to learn that, no, I didn't look like that.


It's weird to age 10 years in one day. So what have I learned about myself? Well, I'm way more vain than I ever knew. And way older. It took me a day or two to realize that I look the same to everyone else; I'm the only one who had the shock of seeing myself as I truly am.

So I ordered a big supply of these powder papers -- I'd rather look like an old lady wearing a tad too much powder than an old lady who has given up caring how she looks.

Ordering the papers triggered a lovely memory however. I'm fairly sure that I first bought this item about 20 years ago on one of my fun day-trips to New York City with a good friend. She introduced me to Zitomer Pharmacy, a family-owned, independent drug store on the upper East Side with aisles packed with ladies stuff. Looking at pictures of it now, it seems very high-end, but 20 years ago it just seemed quirky.

You are so right Mr. President. It IS puzzling.

"It is a little puzzling that I do this every year, but .... it's nice once in a while just to say, 'Happy Thanksgiving.'" About pardoning a big turkey at the White House.

Those poor teenagers. Mr. O, it's time to let them avoid this kind of thing. One reporter said there were some subtle eye-rolls, as if to say "daaaaaaad, pleeeeeeaaaase let us out of here." Another reporter said: "When asked if she wanted to pet the pardoned turkey, Malia simply said, “Nah.”

-----------------
Update: 12/2/2014: Little did I know last week that the Obama girls would inspire TurkeyGate. In case you've avoided Internet "news" lately you might not know that a lame Congressional staffer had to quit her job over a mean-spirited Facebook comment.

"Dear Sasha and Malia, I get your both in those awful teen years but you're a part of the First Family. Try showing a little class. At least respect the part you play. Then again, your mother and father don't respect their positions very much, or the nation for that matter, so I'm guessing you're coming up a little short in the 'good role model' department.

"Dress like you deserve respect, not a spot in a bar."

Presidential daughter in 2004, age 23. Addressing the press.

There is so much about that comment that makes me angry. First, attacking two young girls, 13 and 16. Second, assuming that they are having "awful teen years." And third, libeling their parents by saying they don't respect their jobs or their country. I predict that Fox News is already courting Eliz Lauten for a spot on their channel. She's just their type. Mean and stupid.

The first solo glove of the very long lost-glove season.

I lose gloves on a regular basis, especially gloves that were a gift or gloves I paid more than 20 bucks for. Gloves that I find in the backs of closets or buy for $5 from a street vendor are never lost. I bought this glove and his missing partner a few weeks ago and only used them twice. The missing glove is, or was, probably in a parking lot at the corner of Rts 108 and 650 in Ashton, MD.

I'll save this glove for a long, long time. I have other singles that I can mate with it, and in a weirdo mind game I play, I imagine that I'll actually find another single that matches it. What happens to all these solo gloves? I can't be the only person who loses singles. Should I attach a long cord to each glove and snake it through the arms of my coat so they're impossible to lose? I'd love to start a website for missing gloves. A kind of shelter for the singles where people can find near-matches.

UPDATE:
Ohforgodssake, what made me think a thousand others haven't done something about the missing glove phenomenon? Including Tom Hanks.
http://www.lostgloves.org/
http://onecoldhand.com/
http://www.buzzfeed.com/lyapalater/tom-hanks-is-on-a-mission-to-find-every-lost-glove-in-new-yo

Is it geeky to like stamps?

 

I use them for the few bills I still pay through the mail. And for books I send to others through paperbackswap.com. Maybe the Postal Service should start charging a few pennies more for these commemoratives. I'd pay the extra, especially if it helped keep  small post offices open in rural towns.

Exactly what is going on in this ad?

A few Sundays ago I discovered this two-page ad in the New York Times Magazine. Because I often get fixated on meaningless subjects, I've kept the ad and I look at it from time to time. And I have things to say about it. First, the toilet (it's that small white box next to the un-curtained floor-to-ceiling windows). Sure. I'd sit there using that toilet -- called the Numi -- and feel comfortable. Un huh.

But more perplexing is what we, the viewers, are supposed to make of that couple and their non-verbal communication. Is something amorous going on, or soon to go on? Something exhibitionist possibly -- involving that teeny tiny toilet?

The photo was taken at a Los Angeles house called the Stahl House, which has its own (moderately) interesting history.

What is the advertising thinking behind this campaign? I want Peggy Olson and Don Draper to explain it to me. More ads below.

Constipation possibly? Or maybe she's just lost the remote control for this $6,000 toilet.

A legal smile.

Mark Wootten, left, and Tom McCoy purchase marijuana products at the LoDo Wellness Center. Colorado residents can now buy marijuana like alcohol, but purchases are limited to an ounce at a time.

From here.

All my life I've been saying "nope, it won't happen in my lifetime." But there they are! My g-g-g-generation! Look at those geezer smiles.

A nifty website.

I stumbled upon this website, called Cosmetics and Skin, while googling around reading about skin cleansers. The site seems to take no advertising -- a labor of love I guess. I especially like the links on the right -- histories of different manufacturers, Maybelline for example. The old print ads and photos gathered there are wonderful. It makes me think how much the internet has added to the lives of people who get slightly obsessed with something -- like skin care products. With some time and effort they can gather all their knowledge in one nice package and put it out there for the rest of us to stumble upon.

 

 

Quit! Again. Let's see if it holds this time.

I always quit, this will be the third and I hope final time, for the same reason. I comment on someone's post and then hours later I'm embarrassed by what I said. Today I made a stupid, pointless (hey, it's Facebook) comment on my brother-in-law's post about a computer problem. I did it quickly and without noting that many others had already commented. I said the same thing that someone had said earlier and she pointed it out to me. OK, said I. The only way to avoid all this nonsense is to just get out of FB. I don't need it, I don't learn anything much on it, but I admit that I check it several times a day. Waste of time. I'll read two more books a year, I figure, with the time I'll save.

Not literally, but close.

Thanksgiving is a good time to make changes. I found this in my inbox today so here's my new creed.

1. Listen without interrupting
2. Speak without accusing
3. Give without sparing
4. Answer without arguing
5. Share without pretending
6. Enjoy without complaint
7. Trust without wavering
8. Forgive without punishing
9. Promise without forgetting

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

I wish my friend Paula hadn't posted this on Facebook.

You can probably figure out the question ("how many squares are in this diagram?") but do you know the answer. The Facebook guesses, of which there are currently 214,094, range from 27 to 90. I get a different number every time I try (usually in the 34-36 range) but I'm getting dizzy so I hope someone will know the answer and let me know.

Miscellaneous.

Someone is spending unauthorized time in my car.

Twice in the last month I've encountered this scene on the floor in the back of my car. The Kleenex box is battered mostly because I toss it around from time to time, and load heavy bags of groceries on top of it. But this kind of tissue-destruction can, I believe, only come from the chewing of a small rodent. At least that's my theory. Confusing me is how a rodent gets into my car (a 2-year-old Honda). I noticed the scene above on a Monday morning, after the car sat undriven for 2 days. Anyone else have any ideas about what's making my tissues disintegrate? Are you impressed with the minutia of my thoughts? I DO spend time thinking about larger issues: life and death, good and evil, that kind of thing. But I also spend an inordinate amount of time musing about truly trivial things. So sue me.

As seen on Facebook. It made me laugh but who am I to laugh at footwear? Here's what I'm wearing at the moment.

Apologies to all friends and readers who love the look of their crocs.

Is this creepy? (Update with answer: No, but apparently Pam's getting too old & stupid to have a blog)

Yesterday I was googling around and I typed in "Russell Square London." I went to the Google map in the upper right corner, satellite view, and saw this. What's that plane doing there? It had to have been photoshopped in but why? And here's what's really creepy. I told a friend, who was at work, to check out the site and on her computer there was no plane.......

Theories?

60? How about 70?

One more day.

Today is the last day I can sing this song. Tomorrow I turn 65. Feels like I'm getting ready to jump over a small but deep stream to The Other Side.

These cards are real snorters.

Dancing beluga whale. So sweet, although I'm sure she wishes she were back in the ocean. Maybe she's saying "get me out!" not "this is fun!"