I hope there aren't too many people from other countries trying to decipher those signs. They are confusing--never mind the missing decimal points and zeroes. Someone was trying to save a little money by cramming as much information as possible onto a small space. They made me think of the first chapters of The Elegance of the Hedgehog! Hahahahahah!
A Sharpie! Of course. Why didn't I think of that? This is why I need a blog: so smart people can help me solve the problems in my life.
And Anne. About The E. of the H.: I won't nag but I do encourage you to give the book another try. It's very funny, in a snarky, snooty way that I admit to liking. The author has amusing observations about animals. And on grammar and punctuation! Here are a couple of her thoughts on pets.
Dogs -- "Poodles come in black or apricot. The apricot ones tend to be crabbier than the black ones, who on the other hand do not smell as nice. Though all poodles bark snappily at the slightest provocation, they are particularly inclined to do so when nothing at all is happening. They follow their master by trotting on their stiff little legs without moving the rest of their sausage-shaped trunk. Above all they have venomous little black eyes set deep in their insignificant eye-sockets. Poodles are ugly and stupid, submissive and boastful. They are poodles, after all."
Cats -- "Our two cats are fat windbags who eat designer kibble and have no interesting interaction with human beings. They drag themselves from one sofa to the next and leave their fur everywhere, and no one seems to have grasped that they have no affection for any of us. The only purpose of cats is that they constitute mobile decorative objects, a concept which I find intellectually interesting, but unfortunately our cats have such drooping bellies that this does not apply to them."
Apologies to Kitt (of the Kittalog), who has wonderful poodles who I would adopt in a heartbeat (except that my Mobile Decorative Objects would, well, object).
3 comments:
I hope there aren't too many people from other countries trying to decipher those signs. They are confusing--never mind the missing decimal points and zeroes. Someone was trying to save a little money by cramming as much information as possible onto a small space. They made me think of the first chapters of The Elegance of the Hedgehog! Hahahahahah!
A little green sharpie goes a long way.
A Sharpie! Of course. Why didn't I think of that? This is why I need a blog: so smart people can help me solve the problems in my life.
And Anne. About The E. of the H.: I won't nag but I do encourage you to give the book another try. It's very funny, in a snarky, snooty way that I admit to liking. The author has amusing observations about animals. And on grammar and punctuation! Here are a couple of her thoughts on pets.
Dogs -- "Poodles come in black or apricot. The apricot ones tend to be crabbier than the black ones, who on the other hand do not smell as nice. Though all poodles bark snappily at the slightest provocation, they are particularly inclined to do so when nothing at all is happening. They follow their master by trotting on their stiff little legs without moving the rest of their sausage-shaped trunk. Above all they have venomous little black eyes set deep in their insignificant eye-sockets. Poodles are ugly and stupid, submissive and boastful. They are poodles, after all."
Cats -- "Our two cats are fat windbags who eat designer kibble and have no interesting interaction with human beings. They drag themselves from one sofa to the next and leave their fur everywhere, and no one seems to have grasped that they have no affection for any of us. The only purpose of cats is that they constitute mobile decorative objects, a concept which I find intellectually interesting, but unfortunately our cats have such drooping bellies that this does not apply to them."
Apologies to Kitt (of the Kittalog), who has wonderful poodles who I would adopt in a heartbeat (except that my Mobile Decorative Objects would, well, object).
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